My first day back home I was tired and hungry, so I let my humanistic instinct guide me to the pantry for a snack. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. My parents only keep Special K bars and Atkinson diet bars in the pantry now. Junk food: gone! So they're trying to eat better that's flippin fantastic for them, but don't they know that while I was gone for six months at college that I haven't eaten? But I let this slide and decided that maybe I should just sleep and converse about the issue to my parents tomorrow. So when I woke up the next morning only to be greeted by my mom's smiling face, a 5 hour energy shot, and a Special K bar, I knew this meant war. The smiling face was nice but the other two "food items" weren't as satisfactory. I couldn't understand what happened to my parents since I've been gone. (insert Kelly Clarkson singing "Since You've Been Gone" here) I asked my mom, "Why do you have a 5 hour energy drink every morning?" she simply replied, "Because it's like liquid vitamins." That's when I realized I wasn't talking to my mom anymore, instead I was talking to a living infomercial. It was at that moment that I grabbed the car keys, rushed to the local Walmart bought a box of Frosted Flakes and a gallon of milk and came home to enjoy a breakfast only a real college student would love.
One of the things I've missed about Provo since I've been home is the fact I can buy tall jeans at the mall. I guess because the population of tall people there is about the same ratio to the population of rednecks here in West Virginia. So I guess it makes sense that they sell more tall jeans in Provo than here just as the local Walmart here sells more camouflage everything than in Provo. I guess it's the price I pay for making fun of Utah and it's wonderful surroundings. What I don't get is I'm not even that tall really. I'm only 5'11" but the jeans don't really reach my ankle, but yet aren't short enough to be capris. They were what I like the call the awkward length. The length that no one will tell you looks weird but yet people can't help but stare at you and wonder if you know how to dress yourself. Yeah, I know you know what I'm talking about.
Other than those issues I'm glad to be home. The snow is ridiculous but yet so are my friends that I've missed. We all decided to take a trip the state capitol to go to the mall there and play some lazer tag. At the mall one of my friends and I decided it would be great to put the music that they play really loudly in Abercrombie to good work. We went into the store and started to dance around pretending to strip with our jackets and occasionally bump into a confused costumer. After getting suspicious looks from the workers we left the store. We almost considered going back, I mean what's the worst they could do? Ban us from the store? Oh no, heaven forbid them from saving two people from having to buy from their clothesline. But being the good citizens of society we decided to take our journey elsewhere. Then we were off to lazer tag. We decided we'd each buy two games considering one game was ten minutes long. After starting our first game we realized why it's only ten minutes long. After the first three minutes all the equipment stops working and your friends go crazy and decide that we're going to throw the equipment at each other for points. That lasted for about five minutes. The other two minutes were left for us to complain and talk about how we should have gone ice skating instead. When we walked outside to wait for our second game, we met a girl named Hannah who greeted us with, "I bet you've never heard a real live girl sound like a duck before have you?" Well she got us there, we hadn't. As crazy as it sounds I testify that the girl was real and alive and did indeed sound like a duck. I bet her parents are so proud, as am I.
